At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
