We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
the raccoons are back...
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