It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again