drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize