how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire