i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
