Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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