i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
