haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
