I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
