please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize