Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
