yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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