Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
