This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
