I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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