Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
