We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
