i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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