Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
