His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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