oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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