the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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