why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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