If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
nutella sex= disaster
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
