Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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