Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
