She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
