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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hello my rib-scented angel!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
