Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
