Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
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I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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