brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish I only lived at night.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
