she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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