Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
