Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
