So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
