but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
