if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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