4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
