but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
