You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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