I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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