No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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