hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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