Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
