I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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