I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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