i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What a dumb baby whore.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
