Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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