I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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