Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
