thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
