bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
