just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
