i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
