Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
