Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
