Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
