I showed him my bush... on skype.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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