Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
