So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
