It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
