If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My vagina is officially offended.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
