If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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