it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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