so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
