We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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