I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
